So, this week, I was finally able to admit to myself something that I never expected.
I’ve been denying it for… a long time now. But I finally broke myself down to the point where I admitted it & I am working on myself.
My mom is helping me since she went through the same thing at my age.
This is not something I ever thought was an issue. Until a few days ago when I looked at myself, weighing 103.8 pounds & couldn’t stand it. My “normal” weight is around 93 pounds, though that was still too heavy for me. When I weighed my “normal” weight, I was constantly receiving comments on how I looked too thin. I ignored them. I wanted to be thinner. I would starve myself for days without realizing it. It had become second nature to me. It had become “normal”.
Now I’m trying to think of exactly how long it’s been. I can’t pin-point a single year since I was really young that I ever thought “Oh wow, I love my body.” Though I’m sure that’s true for a lot of people. I’ve always been “naturally thin” but it took me starving myself to be the thin I wanted to be.I’m not ashamed to admit my problems & I don’t want other people to feel like they have to be ashamed of theirs.
I’m sharing this, like I’ve shared my other problems, in hopes that maybe it will help someone else realize their own & get the help they need. Maybe they’ll even reach out to me & I can help them myself. Whatever the case, please just remember that your health is more important than pleasing people or looking the way magazines & the media perceive as “beautiful”.
Anorexia is a serious problem that no one should ever feel the need to resort to because they want to feel beautiful. There are other, healthier ways that, though slower, will get much better, healthier looking results.
Now while I’m sorting my own issues out, I invite you to share yours. We can heal together & help each other along.